But What if He's a Fussy Eater?

Worrying about weaning

It seems ridiculous now, but this was high up on my list of parenting worries. I remember asking a friend of mine how she'd managed to create amazing eaters in her twins as I watched them, aged about 3, polish off a bowl of olives.

Ultimately, she'd just fed them a varied and flavoursome diet from an early age and it had worked wonders (it also helps that she's an amazing cook!...)

It was this thought process I channelled as I started to feed Jude and many people are now quite surprised at the huge variety of things he will now eat...although I still can't get him to eat olives!

Fussy phases

I am sure - like any other toddler finding their tiny feet in the world - that he will go through a fussy phase and I am prepared for that. It’s developmental and it seems they all hit it at some point or other. The trick is to stand your ground, even if it does feel like the earth is giving way beneath your feet.

There are already times when he is teething and will eat very little. Beige seems to be the diet of choice in these situations. Bread, cheese, pasta & yoghurt are all favourites - and more recently he’s even refused bread.

There are also times when he will attempt to chuck several things overboard - usually to Mabel and sometimes as what seems like a very aggressive 'quality control' method - but I try not to sweat it and instead give him an area on his tray or a separate plate where he can put things he doesn’t want — and quite often he’ll end up actually end up eating those as well.

But for the most part, he does eat well. He eats a huge variety of things and it makes life so much easier, especially when we want to eat out as most places where we live now don't have a specific children's menu.

It may of course be entirely accidental, but since having a fussy eater is something that I was concerned about (as are many of us at the start of our weaning journeys - along with how much/ how little/ how often to be feeding them!) I actively put in steps to try to avoid this eventuality.

I’m not going to call them ‘tips’ because I don’t profess to be any kind of expert on this area, but since a number of my Instagram followers expressed an interest in my approach, here it is (since it's quite a long post, you'll find the key points in bold):

Ten things I tried:

One

I tried not to become consumed by the whole BLW (baby led weaning)/ traditional weaning thing. Labels aren’t really very helpful and the ‘food before one is just for fun’ doesn’t apply in the case of a premature baby. In Jude’s case, by 6 months of age, he needed the additional nutrients from food as he’d missed that final boost in the womb, so that meant that I had to spoon feed him. However, I also wanted him to have some control himself.

I know BLW purists would argue that there is a choking risk if you introduce purées and whole foods at the same time, and I am not in a position to challenge this information, but I read an excellent book by Sara Patience where she discussed how to introduce both together and in my experience I found that Jude knew that he had to chew lumpier textured/ whole foods when he encountered them, as opposed to softer, more puréed foods. This became the approach I felt comfortable with, and formed the basis of his early meals: something I fed him, and something he fed himself.

Two

In the very beginning I was convinced Jude hated everything I put in front of him as his expression seemed to suggest so...but it actually turned out that he was just getting used to new flavours and textures. One google of ‘weaning faces’ was enough to put my mind at rest. There is an excellent resource here.

Three

Health Visitors will tell you to move straight to lumpy and mashed food... and I do get the reasoning behind this. When the advice was to wean babies at 4 months, they had progressed to lumps at 6 months and if different textures aren’t introduced by a certain point, they might not be accepted so readily.

That said, going from a thin texture like milk to mashed carrot might be a bit of a surprise to some babes.

Jude definitely struggled with this, so following advice by Annabel Karmel in her book The New Complete Baby & Toddler meal planner, I took it right back and offered very thin purees in the beginning - for about a week - to get him used to something other than milk, and then moved on to lumps very quickly so he was getting the different textures.

Four

Babies can’t eat much salt at all in their diet - but who wants to eat bland food? Just because they can’t eat salt, doesn’t mean that you can’t add flavour through things like herbs and spices.

I introduced strong flavours really early and didn’t labour the single tastes phase. It hasn’t meant that Jude won’t accept single vegetables (this kid loves carrots, squash, peas, asparagus, courgettes, aubergine....) and has instead meant that he is most often accepting of new flavours. We’ve even now started to include chilli into his diet. Mild chilli flavours that is - I’m not talking a vindaloo!

Five

Eat with your baby as often as you can. This has probably been the best thing we did - and was helped enormously by having a husband on Gardening leave for a couple of months.

Once past those initial stages, by eating with your baby, you don’t need to cook a variety of different things as you can all eat the same meal.

By eating together, the focus is taken off the baby and their eating and becomes more about quality family time and an opportunity to learn new skills.

I found if I had my own food to think about too, I didn’t worry so much about what Jude wasn’t eating/ was throwing to the dog (she put on a whole kilo at the start of weaning and had to go on a diet!) which ultimately took the pressure off him.

It’s more difficult now Mr W has gone back to work, but I eat with Jude on the majority of lunchtimes and we eat together as a family at least four evenings out of seven. It’s an earlier dinner time, but it also means you have the rest of your evening free - double bonus!

If your child is in nursery, they will already be getting a head start on this as they will always be eating with their peers.

Six

Gousto (or Hello Fresh) is your friend! This company introduced us all to new flavours and recipes and saved us from the monotony of meal planning.

I just made sure to choose things without honey in the beginning. I also chose things that were healthier, left out the salt during cooking, replaced stock cubes where necessary with baby friendly versions like these in Boots, and occasionally added in extra veg. As all the nutritional information per meal is available on the website, it makes this easy enough to do.

At the time we were using them, they also had a number of Annabel Karmel recipes although I'm not sure whether this is still the case.

Seven

Don’t be afraid to try out things you think your baby won’t eat. I recently gave Jude a tuna and mixed bean salad, not really thinking he would eat much and it turned out to be one of his favourite things. He’s also now started eating raw tomatoes after months of tossing them to one side.

Eight

My Mum always used to say: “You’ll eat and you’ll like it!” which amused us all as there were definitely times we didn’t like it... but there were five of us and who’s got the time or the inclination to cook five different meals?

It’s a philosophy I have really got behind with Jude and at meal times, he is offered one meal only. If he eats 2/3 of it, he is given a pudding (eg fresh fruit or a yoghurt) but if he doesn’t, that’s it. Of course I worry that he’ll be hungry, and wake in the night but I try to remind myself that most babies WILL eat if they are hungry, and by not giving him an alternative I am showing him that he can't hold out for something he prefers.

Nine

Snacks are important to a baby as their tummies are only tiny, but too much snacking can lead to not eating much at mealtimes. I tend to give Jude two small-ish snacks a day - one between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner. Sometimes he asks for a snack sooner than the scheduled time which is fine - nobody likes the hangry! - but if he snacks earlier, he doesn’t get another later.

Ten

I invested in good bibs (IKEA's are brilliant!) vanish, some good cloths and cleaning products, as well as interesting plates and a variety of different utensils. Weaning is messy and I learned to embrace that - it’s all part and parcel of learning about texture, and not to mention fun - for the baby at least!

Now, if anyone has got any helpful strategies for me on how to get your toddler to use cutlery - I am all ears! This week we have had Jude plucking his food off the fork to put in his mouth, then using the fork as a comb.

It's all learning though hey?

Rxx