Finding my Feet... an Update

Bucket List

A few weeks ago I’d hit a bit of a low point following our move here and set myself a challenge of ten things I wanted to achieve in order to help me to start feeling more positive.

I thought that I might feel better with a goal (everybody does, right?) and even if I didn’t achieve everything on the list, it might just help me to gain a bit of control back.

…And do you know what, it bloody well did. Here’s the update:

Organise Italian lessons

I have now had three Italian lessons with a personal tutor. She comes to my home one night a week when Jude has gone to bed and we have already covered things like numbers, the alphabet, masculine & feminine, singular & plural, verbs etc.

Instead of topics like ‘What’s in my pencil case?’ though and how many brothers and sisters do I have? (I’ve got one of each and they’re twins if you’re interested - it's also their birthday this month!) I’m learning how about the rather more important topics such as going to the bar and arranging to meet with friends.

In a few short weeks I have gone from being too embarrassed to ask for ibuprofen in the local chemist, to navigating asking a waiter for a table for two, getting a high chair, ordering a meal for all of us, responding to simple questions and asking for the bill - all without a word of English being spoken on either side.

To say I am proud of myself here is a flippin’ understatement and I am sure that as my confidence grows, so will my vocabulary.

Attend a playgroup

I was insanely nervous about this one - but after a disastrous first attempt involving a sweaty trek across town, a million steps with a buggy up a steep hill (not realising that there was both a street with no steps and funicular tram going to the same place)and an inability to figure out where Google Maps was sending me,the second attempt was far more successful and I was definitely rewarded for my persistence - although at the time I didn't think I'd ever brave going out further than the bloody balcony again!

The Steps of Doom

Unlike the lukewarm pale tea and broken bourbon biscuit that is standard fare at the playgroups I visited in the UK, this drop-in underneath a church on the edge of Parco Ciani came with a selection of teas and good coffee, bread, meats and cheeses. It was a bit like entering a new world.

Since it was the birthday of one of the regular attendees, there was also a glorious cake and the singing of Happy Birthday in both English and Italian.

Jude enjoyed playing with the toys/ trying to escape into the storeroom/ going up and down the steps and I enjoyed meeting other Mums who spoke English and whom had children of a similar age to Jude.

I am looking forward to returning… and you also don't need to take my shoes off. Bonus!

Nice setting for a playgroup

Drive ‘on the other side’

It helps that we have come over with my car as I only have the roads to become familiar with, but despite having three crashes in which my car has been written off each time (not one of them my fault I promise!) I feel absolutely fine now behind the wheel of the car in and around Lugano.

I’d still be a bit nervous about driving to and from the airport in Milan (wing mirrors seem to be a purely decorative feature on a car over here) but I have driven on the motorway in Lugano, along winding mountain roads and through the hilly city centre. I’ve even managed to do it all by myself when David left the car while he was working away - and I didn’t even use the SatNav.

I’ve also navigated the multi storey car park I swore that I would never drive around - and we are all still here to tell the tale. Even the paintwork on the car!

Team David for the Win!

Use public transport

The first time I got on the bus was to the playgroup that never materialised, but I got off too early and couldn’t locate the bus back in my distress. It was all a bit confusing and just getting the ticket very nearly made me cry… but again the second attempt was far more successful. I’ve even got the funicular tram from the train station into town by myself.

What’s lovely is that the public transport here is incredibly clean, and arrives exactly when it is scheduled to. There are lots of buses too, meaning that your trip never needs to last very long - brilliant when you have a toddler in tow.

Accept all invitations

This one has been a bit more challenging as, even with the very best of intentions, sometimes things go awry when you have small people… but the best part of this is that I have actually been invited to things!

One of the best was to a Royal Wedding party - perfect for making me feel a bit closer to home again (there was even clotted cream from Tesco and homemade scones and sausage rolls!) The prosecco was flowing and it was an ace afternoon of hanging out with other girls - while Jude had some time with his Dad.

I was a bit nervous about going but I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed the child-free afternoon. Not just because I stuffed my face with afternoon tea and fizz, but I was also made to feel so welcome by everybody. Can’t wait for the next time there’s something planned with these ladies!

Another silver lining was when I had been in tears most of the morning (I challenge you try reading ‘The Lion Inside’ when you are feeling like you are definitely missing your roar!)and the wife of one of David’s colleagues not only put up with me cancelling our coffee date in town, but drove over with cake to cheer me up. We’ve met a few times now and it is so lovely to know that there is someone nearby who has got your back. She’s responded to countless texts filled with my ridiculous questions, loves gin just as much as I do, is fabulous with Jude AND Mabel… what is not to love?

Use the gift of social media

So, at the end of my last blog post, I concluded with the confession that I had that afternoon braved putting myself out there by asking in a Facebook group if some other Mums in Lugano might like to meet me for a park playdate or a coffee. I felt like an idiot doing this but I am so glad I did.

Not only did I find out about lots of great child friendly places, I also have a park date planned with an Italian Mum and two of her girls; I have had a lovely breakfast date, and was shown round the Lido and with one of my neighbours and her smiley 12 month old little boy (so much calmer than my whirlwind!)and I have spent a sunny afternoon drinking coffee at the LAC, and gin by the side of the lake with another Mum who is fairly new to Lugano herself, along with her gorgeous 8 month old little boy and beautiful dog. I am really looking forward to seeing these girls and their bambini again soon.

Home from Home

Surprisingly though, and while it wasn’t on my ‘bucket list’, a friend of mine coming to stay for the week helped me to feel so much more positive.

Not only was it beyond amazing to see another familiar face - one of the very best of faces too - being a bit of a tourist in my own town, and seeing the place through the eyes of someone who knows me inside out made me realise just how lucky we are to live in this gem of a place. And that we WILL be happy here.

It might not be easy, but it will be so worth it… and just look at the smiles on my little boy everywhere he goes. To me, it completely cements that we have made the right decision.

Let’s watch this space hey?

A dopo!

R xoxo